Brent Osland   POS: G Uniform #: 47 HT: 5' 11" WT: 275 School: St. John's (MN) Resides: Wheeling, IL Hometown: Oakdale, MN Nickname(s): Disco Stu, Oz, Noz, Bort   Coach's Corner Only Jesus saves more than BRENT OSLAND, the Flock's all-time goaltending leader in wins, goals against average, shutouts, and bruises suffered. After a season-long sabbatical, where he worked with the legendary Vacislav Tretiak, former star goaltender for the U.S.S.R. and now a coaching guru, Osland is back in the pipes for the Flock, improving on his already sparkling numbers. But Osland's contribution's can not be measured by statistics alone, as he is invaluable at pumping up the team with his singing renditions of one-hit wonders during the games. Pattern Move: Kick save followed by a rendition of "Afternoon Delight"   Career Stats   Season GP G A Pts PIM PPG SHG GWG GTG Pct. Of Offense 1996 Fall 9 0 1 1 - 0 0 0 0 16.7 1997 Spring 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 1997 Fall 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 1998 Spring 12 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 1999 Spring 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 1999 Fall 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2000 Spring 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2000 Fall 8 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2001 Spring 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2001 Fall 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2002 Spring 12 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2002 Fall 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2003 Spring 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2004 Spring 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2005 Spring 11 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 5.6 2005 Fall 7 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2006 Spring 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2006 Fall 8 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2007 Spring 11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2007 Fall 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 2008 Spring 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0 CAREER 204 0 2 2 0 0 0 0 0 0.7   Career Highlights:   Most Assists in a Game: 1 (2 times) Most Points in a Game: 1 (2 times)   Season GPI W L T ShO GAA 1997 Spring 5 0 5 0 0 5.60 1997 Fall 11 2 9 0 1 3.64 1998 Spring 12 2 10 0 2 3.08 1999 Spring 11 2 8 0 0 3.45 1999 Fall 11 2 9 0 2 4.36 2000 Spring 10 1 8 1 0 4.20 2000 Fall 8 1 7 0 1 3.63 2001 Spring 10 0 9 1 0 5.10 2001 Fall 4 1 3 0 0 4.25 2002 Spring 12 8 4 0 6 1.92 2002 Fall 10 4 5 1 4 2.10 2003 Spring 10 4 5 1 3 2.00 2004 Spring 9 3 6 0 2 3.56 2005 Spring 11 4 6 1 0 3.64 2005 Fall 7 2 4 1 1 3.14 2006 Spring 11 1 8 2 0 3.00 2006 Fall 8 2 5 0 2 2.50 2007 Spring 11 4 6 1 4 2.09 2007 Fall 9 3 6 0 2 2.44 2008 Spring 9 6 2 1 1 2.22 CAREER 189 52 125 10 31 3.21   Career Splits   Career Vs. Opponent Opponent GPI W L T WPct ShO GA GAA Big Shots 1 0 1 0 .000 0 4 4.00 Blitz 14 0 13 0 .000 0 56 4.00 Bloody Penguins 1 0 1 0 .000 0 3 3.00 Coup De Etat 22 1 19 2 .091 1 116 5.27 Crunch 3 0 3 0 .000 0 8 2.67 CTC 3 0 3 0 .000 0 9 3.00 Dead Chiefs 6 2 4 0 .333 2 11 1.83 Dogs 10 0 10 0 .000 0 40 4.00 Dragons 37 11 24 1 .319 4 121 3.27 Face Melters 2 0 1 1 .250 0 7 3.50 FBs 20 14 4 2 .750 8 23 1.15 Grinders 8 2 5 1 .313 1 11 1.38 Ice Trojans 3 0 3 0 .000 0 19 6.33 James/White Trash 3 1 2 0 .333 0 8 2.67 Lampposts 10 1 9 0 .100 1 48 4.80 Looney Tunes 2 0 2 0 .000 0 7 3.50 Mini-Ditkas 8 5 2 1 .688 5 5 0.63 Mullens 1 1 0 0 1.000 0 2 2.00 Pokemen 6 0 6 0 .000 0 40 6.67 Rich in a Box 1 1 0 0 1.000 0 1 1.00 Scranton Schruters 4 4 0 0 1.000 3 2 0.50 Skeleton Crew 11 2 7 2 .273 2 33 3.00 Slip and Suck 2 2 0 0 1.000 2 0 0.00 Steel Shank 7 4 3 0 .571 1 19 2.71 Tang 3 1 2 0 .333 1 8 2.67 Terminators 1 0 1 0 .000 0 5 5.00 Career By Time Time GPI W L T WPct ShO GA GAA 4:00 1 1 0 0 1.000 0 2 2.00 5:00 12 5 7 0 .417 3 30 2.50 6:00 46 12 29 5 .315 4 151 3.28 7:00 54 19 31 3 .387 13 164 3.04 8:00 48 12 34 1 .266 11 148 3.08 9:00 27 3 23 1 .130 0 109 4.04 10:00 1 0 1 0 .000 0 2 2.00 Career By Day Day GPI W L T WPct ShO GA GAA Sunday 151 48 93 9 .350 30 468 3.10 Monday 37 4 31 1 .125 1 134 3.62 Tuesday 1 0 1 0 .000 0 4 4.00 Career By Result Result GPI ShO GA GAA In Wins 53 30 34 0.64 In Losses 126 0 557 4.42 In Ties 10 1 15 1.50   Last 10 Games Date Time Opponent Result GA ShO 04/13/08 6:00 Coup De Etat Loss 5 0 04/06/08 6:00 Scranton Schruters Win 2 0 04/06/08 9:00 Dragons Win 2 0 03/30/08 8:00 Grinders Win 0 1 03/16/08 6:00 Face Melters Tie 3 0 03/09/08 6:00 FBs Win 2 0 02/24/08 4:00 Mullens Win 2 0 02/17/08 5:00 Rich in a Box Win 1 0 02/10/08 6:00 Tang Loss 3 0 11/18/07 8:00 CTC Loss 4 0 Total 6-3-1 2.40 1   Player Bio Email This Rat Bastard at: DiscoStu@teamwild.com How has being a part of the Flock helped you in other areas of your life?   Well, I'm supposed to say that the most wonderful thing is that I met my wife at Broomball, but really its the wardrobe. I mean these shoes are freakin' dope. What part of your game needs the most work?   I'd benefit from a quicker glove hand, but I think the team would appreciate a Barry White-Style vocal transplant. Who would you most like lace up the shoes with on the Broomball Ice (living or dead)?   Jesus. I hear he's got a wicked slapshot, he's good at the point on the power play well, and he clogs up the passing lanes on defense. He's soft in front of the net and he doesn't have the greatest wind, but other than that he's the total package. What's is your Broomball highlight to date? low-light?   Highlight: Getting tanked in the Hot tub in Rosemount, MN. That Passman sure knows how to wear a bathing suit, Ooo La La! Low-Light: Any one of shots I've taken to the genitals....from my own damn team, or the cool 14 hung on me by Coup. If you could be Miss America for a day, what would you do to represent the crown?   After I squelched the soft-core porn movie I made when I was in collge, I'd annex Canada and harvest their hockey players, then I'd have Oprah Winfrey assassinated just to make a point. What? I don't get to do that stuff? Well then I guess I'd cut the ribbon at the opening of the new Steubenville, Ohio White Castle and jam as many sliders in my pie hole as possible. Which 80's personality from film or tv best represents you?   I'm like Hannibal on the A-Team. I'm surrounded by guys who are shooting all the time, but can't kill anything. What do your teammates say about you behind your back?   "Man he's wound tighter than a piano wire, and why in the hell doesn't he just freakin' bring more tape!" Who is/was your favorite pro bowler? Why?   It has to be Earl Anthony. I mean there's a haircut you could set your watch to. Plus he still holds the record for all time tour wins (41) and is in both the ABC and PBA Hall of Fame. Actually, the only reason I remember him is that I knew a guy named Anthony in college and we always called him Earl. What would you like as the epitaph on your grave stone?   Here lies David St. Hubbins...and why not? What question would you want to add to this list of questions?   Ever heard of a Chef who can't cook?